Yes, Jesus thank you again!

Dear Jesus, today, as every day I want to thank you for life, love, health, family, friends, work, opportunities, being of help, intellect, beauty, freedom, ability to make choices, and many other innumerable daily blessings.  But today I really want to thank you for not giving me what I ask for.  I don’t know better.  You do.  I pray hard and completely for some things.  I pray in earnest.  I pray believing.  I pray that you will give me that which “I know” is best and is within your will.  But dear, dear Jesus, thank you, thank you, thank you!  Thank you because I don’t always get what I ask for.  Thank you because you know best – always and forever.  Thank you that you give me the opportunity to realize that your ways are not my ways.  Thank you because I know that your path and plan is infinitely perfect and excellent.  I thank you today, as I don’t know the future, but you do.  I thank you because your wisdom and knowledge will always shine in the end.  I thank you that in the darkest of nights, I know that day is coming.  A day brighter than any other because of the Sonlight.  And even if I don’t have answers here, everything WILL be revealed, on that day.  Today I praise you and thank you Jesus!

Grown up Christmas Wish

Christmas on the brain; and Christmas music all around, so....here's one I heard today that really, really reflects my wishes!  Thanking God that Christmas isn't about presents, but about loving Him and others more each day!

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown-up now
And still need help somehow.
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start,
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

 

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree
Well heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth

 

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown-up Christmas list
This is my only life long wish
This is my grown-up Christmas list

 

Top Ten

This morning I heard about the top ten Google searches of the year.  It’s always interesting to see what others are searching for and looking at and interested in.  I’m sure we all have our top number of something.  Our top outings, top memorable moments, top new restaurants, top people, maybe even our top headaches of the year!  So here are my top ten whatever I’m grateful for this year:

·         My kids – God love them!

·         My mama - what would I evah do without her!

·         My family – they’re crazy but I love them!

·         Opportunities to help others

·         Work – appreciate having a career; a job that sometimes keeps me sane!

·         Travel – in every form

·         Laundry – I know I’m weird, but I love the routine of it.

·         Hallmark Channel

·         Friends who like eating as much as I do

·         Nothing Bundt Cakes – it’s a bunk, bonk, bon, this cake has a hole in it!

No Gifts Required

It’s Christmastime.  We all know what’s expected.  We all know that we have to give out some gifts; at least to our loved ones.  I love receiving gifts; I really do.  I really appreciate that someone took the time to get something for me.  But I love giving gifts to others even more.  So, throughout the year, I do plan some gifts.  I order things online or if I’m out and about, I do pick up something I think might be meaningful, special, or fun for someone.  So, come Christmastime, I have plenty of family, friends, co-workers, neighbors and other service people to whom I like to present with a gift. 

So, last night I had dinner with a good friend.  He is a great friend.  He’s always encouraging me and giving me advice from a male point of view; and is never judgmental.  So, naturally I want to meet up and have our Christmas dinner; but I also want to show my appreciation with a thoughtful gift.  And I did.  And he didn’t have anything for me.  And, of course, he felt bad; but I didn’t.  We had the best time catching up and just enjoying each other’s company.  We talked about our families and our jobs.  We chatted about how fast our kids are growing.  And then we had a heart-to-heart about this time of year – what the plans are, what is meaningful, what is fun, what we want to teach out kids about it, and what we will remember about it in the future.  Then he apologized again for not taking a gift for me.  I assured him that his friendship was all the gift I needed.  And I meant it.  Grateful today for great friends - no gifts required.

Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings

When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds

If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep
Counting your blessings

Pajamas

Growing up in New York City is something that I will always remember with fondness.  Our family lived in an older apartment building in Upper Manhattan.  We had brutal winters in New York when it was bitter cold and the wind howled through the cracks of the iced-over windows.  We not only wore sweat suits to bed, but also socks, gloves and hats.  Then in the hot summer time with no air conditioning, we threw the windows completely open.  We bathed in humid air and had no choice but to wear the skimpiest clothing or just t-shirts to sleep in.  Those were the days. 

Now that I’m older and wiser (and have all the heat and air conditioning I could hope for), I wear pajamas.  I know a lot of people don’t like pajamas.  Some people think that they’re dowdy or boring, or maybe too hot.  But they’re my personal favorite.  I try not to be obsessive about pajamas, but I think as I get older I might be getting pickier.  They have to be ….. just so.  In the last year I’ve bought four pairs of new pajamas.  First pair was great.  Pull on elastic waist pants with a button down shirt in off-white with tiny little red flower bunches.  All soft and stretchy cotton with a perfect fit.  I was so happy I remember sending out selfies sporting my new pajamas.  The love didn’t last long.  The more I washed them, the smaller they got.  My daughter wears them now.  Second pair was bought in the spring.  It was a cool cotton shorts and top set.  As key-yoot as can be; with a beautiful navy paisley print on a pink background.  And then I put the top on and man if it didn’t give!  I couldn’t move my arms without it tugging at my underarms.  And when I crossed my arms it felt as if I was in a straightjacket.  I wore an XL t-shirt to bed that summer.  Third pair was bought this fall.  Three quarter sleeve shirt with nice pull on bottoms in a cotton/polyester blend.  Don’t do it.  Take it from me.  As nice and supple as it felt the first couple of nights, it was a waste of money.  Within the first wash the three quarter sleeves shrunk to two quarters; and the pants are so pilly that I can’t stand to wear them anymore.  I found out later that pilling happens, especially in synthetic fabrics like polyester, by wearing or washing!  Hmmm, I wonder if I could get away with not wearing or washing my PJs!  Last pair, bought last week, was a find.  I learn from my mistakes; so I went all cotton top and cotton gabardine bottoms.  Wish me luck!

True Christmas Spirit

We are in full swing and I missed it.  I was too tired Friday night and completely forgot one of the most beautiful of our family’s traditions – the live drive through nativity.  Every year we do several things around Christmas – we go see lights - check, we go to Christmas on the Square - check, we have trim-a-tree – a great tradition where the family comes over, you feed them, and in turn they bring ornaments and help you decorate your tree – check, check, check.  But we also do the live nativity and this year I missed it.  It’s easy to miss something during this time because there are so many commitments to share with others, so many parties, so many invitations, so many lunches and dinners, and get-togethers.  But the live nativity is a short but beautiful experience of the true meaning of Christmas.  It has live actors, live animals and beautiful scenes, artwork and choir music.  But it is much more than a beautiful representation of Jesus’ birth.  It is a retelling of Mary and Joseph’s road to Bethlehem.  It’s the story of God’s son Jesus, and his humble birth and beginnings on earth. The miracle of a God made man for us – His precious children.  The birth of sweet baby boy in a manger; but also the complete truth about salvation through a babe that would become man - God with us.   It is the story of Emmanuel.  It is what this season is all about.

Thanking God for His beautiful Son Jesus, the God who descended to earth for each of us.  Thanking God that this season is not all about us, but Him. 

Little Kids

I have teenagers and I love them to death; but they’re teenagers.  They’re at that wonderful stage where they don’t need me; they just need the stuff.  They’re pretty silent; unless they’re with their friends.  They’re off in their rooms and their things and their interests.  Sigh!  I long for the little kids who used to adore me, who needed me, who wanted to share every single little thing with me.  Kids who were excited on outings; curious about the world – who had fun with me.

Yesterday I had a 7 and 4 year old for Christmas on the Square.  OMG!  What a difference!  Yes, they were a little needy.  Yes, they were all over the place and I had to keep my eyes peeled.  Yes, they wanted a lot of stuff.  But, oh what a magical age!  How fun they were!  Totally excited at the tree lighting and the icy toboggan.   When the fireworks started it was all I could do to keep the 7 year old from knocking everyone down on her path to make it up the stands to get a better view.  How grateful they were to get hot chocolate and cookies.  And when they saw the barrel train, they just got in the waiting line.  We didn’t have a choice.  But oh, nothing compared to the excitement when they knew their turn had finally arrived and they could make their own tiny little snowman.  A little challenging in Texas fall 70 degree weather.  They picked out hats and scarfs, arms and noses and buttons to finish the awesomeness that was their snowman made out of melting ice. 

Thanking God today for beautiful, grateful, fun, enjoyable, challenging, totally amazing little kids!

That Time of the Year

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.  As a Christian, this is a special time of the year for me.  Celebrating and commemorating the birth of my Savior is special.  But I have to admit that the majority of our time is not spent at church or recounting the birth of Jesus.  It’s with celebrations with family and friends, and all sorts of spiritual and securlar traditions have helped to make this a very special time of the year.  Always.  I have friends who are not Christians, who do not celebrate Christmas, and just take this time of the year for a few days off and relaxation.  But, even they admit that around Christmas people are nicer, more giving, in a better mood.  So, why are people in a better mood at Christmas?  I took a quick poll and some of the answers were:  family, more food, a break from classes, religion, family time, vacations, bonuses, family trips, lights, sleeping in, there’s a constant reminder of love, gifts, seeing more of family.  So, at least for my family, the reason we are happier and in a better mood is seeing more of our family!!!   Thanking God today for the birth of Jesus and for our family.

Hands

I was talking with my daughter about the virtues of taking care of oneself.  Not that I’m a prime example, but as parents tend to do, I still want her to learn about life even if I’m not all there yet.  We were talking about body lotion, of all things, when she mentioned that my hands were soft.  I told her that several people thought my hands were soft even though I have dry skin and she looked at me incredulously – like, really mom?  So at that very moment I conducted an experiment and sent a text to the women in my family – sisters, nieces, etc.  My survey was a quick ‘please tell me one word to describe my hands.’  I did get ‘soft’ and ‘young,’ but the first word that came back was ‘helping.’  I read it; and honestly, was just very happy to see that someone thought I had helping hands.  So often we use our hands for our work and for our benefit.  We take care of our loved ones and do our chores.  We even take care of our own hands with good creams and manicures; but I’m sad to say that we don’t always use our hands to help others.  Or if we do, it’s minimal. 

I'm thankful for my hands. I do everything with my hands. I can’t think of one thing I did today without my hands.  I can’t think of even getting out of bed without my hands.  So often we focus on our needs and wants that we bypass the most incredible of blessings and what we already have.  The simplest of things in our lives, like our hands.  I never think of my hands, but what would I do without them?  I cannot imagine a life so impaired.  But more importantly, what am I doing with them right now?  If I take the time to teach my daughter about taking care of the skin on her hands, what am I teaching her about doing for others with her hands?  For the first time in years I took her to help make sandwiches for the homeless.  I have been doing this for a while, but only on weekends when she’s at her dad’s.  So, we made sandwiches while she asked a lot of questions.  Where do the homeless live?  That close to the school?  What’s happened to make them live in the street?  How do we get the food to them?  Do we talk to them or just give them the lunch sacks?  It really made me think about the not-so-great job I’ve been doing when teaching her life's most important lessons.  That it isn’t about her.  That our purpose isn’t me, myself and I.  That there’s no real joy in living for oneself and one’s gratifications.  So, I’m renewing my resolve to use my hands to help others; but also to model it for my children.  Thankful for my hands. 

TFW

I had a wonderful weekend.  I didn’t go out of town.  I didn’t party.  I didn’t try a new, fancy restaurant.  I didn’t go shopping.  I didn’t even lie down to read a good book.  I had a TFW – a tech-free weekend with two teenagers.  My sweet daughter was grounded and her cell and iPad put away for a few days.  The wrench in my little plan was that my niece was coming over to spend the weekend with us.  So, I asked her mother if she could do me the great favor of having my niece hand over her cell phone so that she and my daughter would have a weekend to spend together without technology.  She said yes. OMG!  What an incredibly difference it made!  From the moment that they met, they talked and laughed.  They also talked with me all weekend.  We actually looked at each other.  There was not one time that I had to tell them to get off the cell phone to do something.  We talked at breakfast.  We talked on our way to church.  We talked when we went to Starbuck’s.  We talked when we came out of the movie theater.  We talked while they chose dresses.  We talked while we shopped.  We talked when we went out to lunch.  I think I’ve made my point here.  I hadn’t had that much face-to-face time with these girls in months.  I felt like I was reconnecting with them.  As if I meeting up with family I hadn’t seen in years.  Very thankful for a TFW!

Excuse me, but I like them

Hallmark movies are the best.  Christmas Hallmark movies are even better.  I’m sure I’m not the only one that, at least once in a while, likes to see sappy, always-a-happy-ending stories.  Seriously, check out a few of the titles, A Bride for Christmas, The Christmas Song, The Christmas Spirit, Finding Christmas, A Very Merry Mix-Up, A Royal Christmas, One Christmas Eve, and The Nine Lives of Christmas.  Could these movies have anything BUT a happy ending?  Call me a sucker for them, but I just can’t get enough; and lucky me, they were on the Hallmark channel lineup at the end of October!   Even before Thanksgiving.  Every, single, night.  Woohoo!  And I’m not the only one.  Noooooooooooooooo.  There are others out there like me.  Last Saturday night I was partying (not, not really, I was home in my pajamas) and my little sister called and asked if I wanted to go over for pizza and a Hallmark movie.  Yup, she’s hooked too!  I have a male friend who told me he has tons on his DVR.  Tons!  And he’s a guy!  Oh the shame!!  

Why do I enjoy them so much?  Because even though I’m a true realist who appreciates credible stories; and even though I’m sometimes ironic to a fault, I still need something that tugs at my heart strings and makes me smile.  I know that these movies are not cast with the brightest of Hollywood stars.  The stories are cheesy and really improbable at best.  But there is always pretty snow everywhere and the spirit of Christmas is apparent in all smiling townspeople and the homes and towns’ decorations.  And because there are pretty girls and hunky guys who inevitably fall in love and all will be right with the world in the end.  And if a dog was lost, he will be found by Christmas morning.  Because even as I'm probably the most pragmatic person I know, I still want to believe in the miracle that is Christmas.  And it might remind me of a loved one no longer here; or reminisce about a once-important connection.  I want to remember some long-forgotten moment that made a long-forgotten Christmas the most special one ever.  Now, excuse me, because I have to get back to my movie.

Blessings All Around Me

When I started this blog it was with the intent of being thankful.  I don’t have a problem with gratitude, I thought.  I’m always thanking people and I thank God every day when I pray.  But I wanted to challenge myself to write about something I am thankful for every day.  Well, life gets in the way.  Sometimes life is bigger than my intentions.  But my gratitude is always there.  In the past few weeks there have been days so full – busy, stressful and riddled with challenges that all I could do at the end of the day is drop in bed.  Some days I’ve been confronted with words that left me fearful and sad.   But I thank God for those days too.  There’s a growth purpose for all those it touches, not just me.  Even though I may not be writing, I see God’s mercies towards me.  I see them in my family, when they offer help, advice, a listening ear, a meal, or help with a pickup.  I see them in friends’ texts, checking on me.  I see them in an offer to go to lunch and decompress.  I see them in my church family who call and leave me encouraging messages ‘God is at work, things will get better, they will work out.’  And I even see them in the humor offered by colleagues.  Can I smile?  Can I laugh at a time like this?  Yes I can, and I do!  Thanking God for everything in my life today. 

Quite Unique

I know many people think she’s a wonderful person and a great young woman; but they don’t know it and feel it quite like I do.  She was my baby for years; six years to be exact.  Then I had my son and it changed things for us.  He became my priority; but it didn’t alter my feelings for her.  She was more than special then and still is now at the age of 21.  I remember so many of our times together when she was little.  I had many opportunities when I looked after her.  We had sleepovers just because and little outings to the park or the playground at McDonald’s.  We watched Disney movies and I told her funky made up stories, while she recounted in detail everything she could remember about her day, her friends, what she did the night before and the shoes she wanted to buy.  She was very particular about the clothes she wore and could obsess about the color or shape of a pair of socks.  But we always had fun.  One time that stays in my mind is babysitting her one afternoon.  She was watching the movie Mulan.  I was pregnant and tired and dozing off on the sofa.  When I woke up she was wearing her bathrobe with a sash tightly wrapped around her waist, white knee socks with flip flops, and had her hair up in a tight bun – the spitting image of Mulan! 

She’s all grown up with her steady boyfriend and soon to graduate from college.  She’s a beautiful young woman physically, yes, but also in mind and spirit.  She is smart and kind.  She’s a true, loyal friend, and a giving person.  She loves children and hopes to have many of her own.  Poor dear, she has no idea!!!  She honors her parents and minds her younger siblings.  She’s crazy about romantic movies and the latest fashions.  Our relationship has transformed through the years.  Now we are more friends than aunt and niece.  We don’t have sleepovers nor do I babysit her; but when we get together we talk at length about the things that matter and the things that she looks forward to in her future.  I couldn’t be happier that she actually wants to share with me.  She’s such a joy and a blessing; and more than quite unique. 

 

The Beauty of a Throw

I’m in love with the impressive ‘magic throws.’  They’re all the rage.  You know which ones they are.  Super soft throws that are velvety, warm and snuggly.  Regular old blankets cannot compare; and they give a kick in the pants to the ratty looking snuggie!  These throws are as soft and silky as can be and come in a myriad of colors, designs and sizes for babies, children and adults.  There isn’t a store that isn’t carrying some kind of throw or blanket in the new microfiber, microlight, silk touch plush, super soft cable knit, sherpa-lined, velour plush, elegant fleece, or my new favorite - luxe faux fur.  You get my drift!  Just throw one of these on and you’re in a toasty heaven that can lull you to sleep faster than all the tryptophan in your Thanksgiving dinner.  Right now I have two in my car and three in my house.  There’s one for every taste and even the most discriminating person can find a beautiful throw to fit their need and personality.  So, why are they so popular?  I have a theory.  You know how small children have security blankets?  Throws are really adult blankies.  Maybe this is a stretch, but for me, the minute I come in contact with it I immediately feel comfortable, warm and safe.  The first thing I do nowadays when I get home is sit or lay on my bed and grab my little pink throw.  I’m definitely attached! 

So thankful for little luxuries.  As my dear son likes to tell me, ‘it’s the little things.’ 

Heat

This morning I gave God thanks that I wasn’t a homeless person.  My furnace went out and I survived for a few days – it wasn’t that cold and the space heater I had was good enough.  But yesterday the house was just too cold.  The little heater that worked so well the last few days was no match for the bitter, freezing weather.  I was wearing clothes, my jacket, a scarf and was bundled up under two blankets, but I was still cold.  My feet, hands and nose were frozen.  I had offers from several family members and a friend to crash at their place, but you know how it is.  You’re comfortable in your own space with your own stuff.  I was reluctant; but then I got up and went to check on my daughter and that’s when I made the decision.  Just walking down the hall to her bedroom I felt as if I was outdoors.  We packed up and went to my brother’s house.  It felt hot when we stepped in; but it was such a relief.  We finally started to defrost as we got ready to go to sleep.  The bed was so comfortable.  We had extra pillows and soft sheets and a nice quilt.  We slept soundly.  I don’t remember even waking up once. 

So this morning I thanked God for the comfort and warmth.  It’s not often we do this.  We take so many things for granted – life, health, family, homes, jobs, food, transportation, AND heat when it’s cold outside.  I thought about the homeless.  Where and how did they sleep last night?  Did they have enough covers?  Would they be able to huddle with others at least?  Were they warm at all?  I can’t believe that anyone sleeping outdoors would be warm when it’s in the 20s.  No matter how many coats, blankets and makeshift walls made out of cardboard.  Today I thank God for his provision for us.  Always timely.  Always perfect.  But I also thank God because I know He gives us these glimpses so that we can have compassion for others. 

And…Winter’s Here!

I’m thankful for winter for many reasons.  Some of these are silly, but they’re all still pretty great.

 Things to love and do in winter:

·         The holidays – Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s!

·         Snow, if you’re lucky!

·         Everything smells cleaner

·         Baking

·         You wear all your cute scarfs and you can actually wear a hat without sweating

·         Hot chocolate and apple cider are on the menu everywhere

·         Ice skating, even if you’re rotten at it, is cool

·         Christmas lights, Christmas music, Christmas movies, Christmas food, Christmas parties

·         Winter vacations

·         Snow days off work and school

·         Chili, soup, stews and anything in a crockpot

Things you can get away with in winter:

·         No one will know if you didn’t shave your legs (or your underarms!)

·         Wearing hideous or mismatched pajamas

·         Big, heavy, fatty meals, because we all expect to gain weight in the winter, don’t we?

·         You can bypass your monthly pedicure

·         Sleeping late and napping – who could blame you when it’s dark and cold outside?

·         Hallmark, Lifetime or Cooking channel marathons

·         You have a great reason to NOT work out – too cold, my face would freeze!

 

Put a Ring on It

What is the meaning of an engagement ring? Typically it’s a small band made of a precious metal topped with a precious stone. But it’s not merely a piece of jewelry. It’s not just a costly gift. Obviously, it’s a promise and a commitment ….for a further commitment, right? What meaning does it hold for the recipient? What about the asking for her hand and giving her a promise to marry her do for the relationship? What are the feelings around the actual giving and receiving? What value does it hold in terms of a future? When I was proposed to, my intended didn’t give me an engagement ring. He was a little frugal to say the least. His mother then gave me her own engagement ring. It wasn’t a costly or beautiful piece. I appreciated it, but not like I would’ve had HE given it to me. Had it cost HIM some money. Had HE taken the time to shop and look for a special ring for me. Had HE kneeled and proposed and put a ring on it.  To me the ring symbolizes more than just ‘I want you to be my wife and be my family.’ It means I love you, I’m crazy about you, I can’t live without you, I want to spend my life with you, so marry me!!! And what woman doesn’t want that??!!!

If you’re as old as I am you’ll undoubtedly know who Karen Carpenter was. Yeah, yeah, I know, sappy songs till the cows come home. I was a lot younger then. I loved her clear and natural voice and I sang all her songs; way too loud, even though I couldn’t carry a tune if you paid me. One of my favorites is “Top of the World.’ You know it. It played at every wedding in the 70s, 80s, and for those like me, in the 90s. I mean, who could resist:

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

Seriously? Words only spoken by a very young and crazy person in love. Or a bride-to-be! I think that’s what the engagement ring symbolizes! You’re crazy in love and this ring shouts it to the world. Thankful today for all those crazy people in love. Bless their little hearts!

Tea Bags

"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

I like me.  I like that I feel strong in spite of my weaknesses.  I like that I’m still learning and growing.  I like that I have experienced so many things, people and places.  So many situations. Good and bad. Obviously, if I had to do some things all over again, I might think a little more about some decisions I made, but then I wouldn’t be where I am.  Right here.  Right now.  Happy and content.  And if you ask me, content is a heck of a lot better than happy.  Happy is fun and momentary.  Content is an all-encompassing satisfaction with your life.  I like that.  It doesn’t mean that I walk around with an ethereal cloud above my head. It means I’m real and my life is good; warts and all.  It’s a great life.

I know other women out there.  Some of them are a lot like me.  Real women.  Strong women.  Women whose lives are quite different from mine, but women who show their strength in their own way every day.  I see beautiful, smart, young women with bright futures.  A lot of studying; college and career decisions.  One is planning a wedding with all the excitement around it.  I remember those days.  Nothing could dampen my enthusiasm and resolve to have it my way.  I know several divorced women – some older, some younger; but with similar burdens and concerns.  A woman whose son committed suicide years ago.  She could’ve fallen apart and died right along with him.  She could’ve resorted to medication and become withdrawn and lonely.  But she isn’t.  She loves him still, of course.  She keeps his memory alive.  And she goes on.  There’s the one with the undiagnosed illness.  Too many doctors and surgeries.  Too much pain and still no relief.  Yet she smiles as she offers blessings every week at church.  And the woman recently separated.  Oh what excessive and sinister doubts we harbor at a time like that!  What does she have that I don’t?  Is she prettier?  Younger?  More interesting?  It’s none of those.  I know.  A couple of women trying to manage their teenagers. You love those crazy kids and the stories are funny sometimes; but draining most of the time.  A woman in her 50s back in college.  I think, yikes!  But she's enjoying it and doing great.  She'll be a teacher next year.  A woman struggling with an unruly child.  A woman who’s trying to find herself in a new and different, but open life.  An octogenarian who’s still shepherding her flock.  Still guiding and helping her family and others every single day. 

Who says women are the weaker sex?  I can prove they're not.  Just look around you and a find a woman.  Start a conversation and ask a couple of questions.  Then hear their life stories.  You’ll be amazed and thankful for all the strong, wonderful women around you.    

 

Tea Party

I know why little girls like tea parties.  It gives them an opportunity to act grown up and sip tea and eat like the big girls do.  But why do adult women like tea parties?  We don’t have to pretend we’re adults like when we were children.  They’re obviously frou-frou, all flowery and pastels, with lots of highly caloric foods.  So, what’s the attraction? 

I had a tea party for my birthday.  It wasn’t my idea, but I loved it just the same.  The tables were set with white tablecloths, beautiful mismatched china, and fresh flowers.  There were real teapots with several types of teas and an array of sweet and savory delicacies to match any highfalutin English tea from the mother country.  There were even party favors – the finest little purse mirrors in the shape of teapots!  And we were all compliant and seized the opportunity to dress up and everyone at the party looked beautiful.  How often does that happen in this age of casualness when even Thanksgiving and Christmas don’t merit a pretty dress or a suit anymore?! 

There were women there from 14 to 79.  And what a treat it was!  I was fortunate enough to NOT sit with the ladies my age.  I sat at the ‘young’ table.  Quite a difference in decibel!  There was raucous laughter and shrieks at my table.  A lot of ‘don’t say that!’ and ‘ooooohh!’ and ‘I’m gonna get ya!’  While at the other ‘older’ more passive and sedate table, there was talk of weddings and church services!!!  Although I would’ve ordinarily sat with the ladies, I was so glad that I was paired up with the young ladies.  When the time came for the games, my table was laughing and crying to the point that one of the young ones peed on herself!  Hmmm.  In true form I was like, ‘whaaaaaat?’  It was crazy, but funny.  Although I was taken aback because I didn’t believe it at first, I was glad that they had such a great time.  When was the last time that you laughed uncontrollably to the point you peed on your pants??!!!  Meanwhile at the other table the conversation continued with a lady putting her house up for sale!!! 

So, here's a great big thanks for tea parties that can be shared with friends and family, young and old.  Tea parties never go out of style. 

Finally Fall

I live in Texas and so our seasons aren’t really seasons.  We have a looooooooooooooooooooong summer, a two-week fall, a mild winter, a two-week spring, and…..back to the looooooooooooooooooong summer.  So, by November we are really, really ready for a change.  Ready to be done with the 90 degree weather.  Well, at least I am.  If you talk to born and raised Texans, they think would be happy with summer all year around.  So I’m deliriously happy to be enjoying 50s.  To have to break out real shoes and socks and jackets and yesterday I even grabbed a scarf because I was going to be outdoors.  Ahhh, life’s great joys.  It reminds me of all the great things about fall – decent walks that don’t leave you sweating after a few yards; not lowering the air conditioner ‘just two degrees’ because it’s still too hot!  And one of my favorite times of the year is also a great time for food.  We feel like hot chocolate, and we feel free to make soups again, yummy heavy foods, and our ovens get a lot of wear as we roast and bake.   When you visit someone they offer you tea, hot tea.  Not the standard Texas sweet iced tea!  Welcome fall!

Madrid

I dare anyone out there to compete for the cutest, most tender, most affectionate, most kissable kid ever!!!  Madrid is 4 years old and he’s little at about 3 feet tall, but he’s crazy special.  He’s smart and funny and loves to snuggle to hear my made-up stories.  He loves coming to my house because, even though my kids are teenagers, I still have plenty of toys, legos and a train table in my family room.  He appreciates that I always have fruit – I think it’s his favorite because he grazes for hours  and leaves my fruit bowl empty at the end of the day!

He is the best kisser ever.  By best kisser I mean non-stop kisser.  He is always kissing someone.  He doesn’t really need any reason.  Of course you get the hello and goodbye kisses, but you also get many more in between.  Madrid kisses because you’re sweet to him; because you’re holding him, or because you happen to be sitting next to him.  Other times he kisses you because you told him you loved him.  And still other times he kisses you because he said ‘I love you.’  Sometimes he kisses you because you’re in his way!!!  I’ve been surprised when I’ve been in the kitchen cooking or washing dishes and he comes up, his tiny little self, and lands a kiss on my leg or my bum!  Or, if he’s playing on the floor and notices your leg…well, you’ll get a peck on your calf at the very moment! 

Today I give thanks for the sweetest crazy kid that I love so much. He couldn’t be more kissable!

My Great Birthday

It’s my birthday today.  Not birthday month; my actual birthday.  The day I was born.  My mom has told me the story of my birth before; and every so often I ask her to repeat it.  I’m a real Southerner.  I was born in South America, in Peru.  My parents were not well to do.  They didn’t have insurance.  They couldn’t afford to go to a hospital.  It was a weekday when it happened.  My father was at work.  My eldest sister, at 6 years old, was in school.  My other brother and sister, not school-age yet, were on the first floor of the house – they were not permitted on the second floor where mom was in labor.  Only Señora Rosita, our neighbor from down the block, would be allowed upstairs to help my mom prepare and await the visit of the neighborhood doctor.  He made house calls for the ladies who could not afford delivering at a hospital. This day he was not in a rush being that my mom was multiparous.  What in the hey is that you ask?  Multiparous is a woman who has given birth to more than one child!  Yep, that’s how they used to talk back then!

It was lunch time.  I think that has something to do with the fact that I have an ongoing love affair with food.  I was born at lunch time and I was born fat.  Fat round legs and butt, fat arms and neck, and the roundest face crowned with a head full of dark hair.  My mom said I never stretched out; I came out looking like a ball with hair. Does that not just sound too precious??!! 

But seriously, I can’t thank God enough for these years He’s given me.  I feel so incredibly blessed with my children, my mother, my siblings, my family, my extended family, my church family, my spiritual family, my very best and close friends, so many friends, co-workers - great people all around me who support me, appreciate me and show me their love in so many ways.  I’m truly blessed today and always. It’s a great birthday indeed!

Another Week Ends

Seems like the best thing you can hope for after a crazy and chaotic week is to end it!!!  Glad it's over. Thanking God for the rest and reprieve of the weekend. 

Busyness

My life is full.  It is quite busy.  I don’t complain though.  I’m thankful.  I know exactly what I have; and it’s a lot.  I can’t even imagine how other single moms or dads manage work, responsibilities and multiple kids.  I thank God for the privilege He has given me to be a mom and to love and raise my kids.  I thank God that I’m of service to others and can teach and help in many ways.  And today I just thank God that I have my job and many activities to keep me busy.  Honestly, some of them I wish I didn’t have to do; but all of them work for my good.  When you’re going through tough times, there are many things you can do – you can thank God because there’s always something to be thankful for, you can pray with others and for others, you can lean on family and friends, you can accept pain as part of life and growth, and you can view things realistically and with hope.  But today I’m really thanking God for work and activities.  Sometimes things just take time.  You just have to patiently wait.  And it’s during those periods that I thank God for the fullness and busyness of my day. 

You Had Me at Hello

Not to mention this again, but it is my birthday month. I've given myself permission to do great and different things, see friends and family, try new places, and just enjoy it all. Yesterday I caught up with some old friends. What a treat!!!  This is a special group of friends.  We all worked together many years ago; and even though we have all gone on to jobs at various other companies, we always communicate.  We want to keep in touch.  Through the last 10 years, we’ve seen life changes, divorces, sickness, and sadness.  But we’ve also seen great moves, health, renewed relationships, weddings, graduations, and a lot of good things. 

Yesterday we caught up by spending a very lengthy lunch which started in the afternoon and spilled into evening.  Five hours later, tons of appetizers, plates of food and desserts of all kinds everywhere, we were still sitting and laughing about a friend’s recounting of her new relationship.  It was the last story of the evening, and weren’t we glad we asked!  The story started when they met at church many years ago.  Guy meets our friend.  They date, but he’s noncommittal; so it doesn’t work out and our friend breaks up with him.  On the rebound, guy quickly gets married to another girl.  So…..guy realizes his mistake and divorces even more quickly.  Feeling unworthy and ashamed, he never gets in touch with our friend again.  After a few years, our friend, whom we found out has impeccable investigatory skills and is a consummate stalker, finds out he’s divorced through the magic that is public records and Facebook!  She finds out where he goes to church; and after peeking at him through the pews for a couple of months, finally approaches him to say hi.  Cut to the end of the interminable story, she had him at hello.  They’re seeing each other again.

Today I’m very thankful for my cool group of friends.  Never a dull moment with them. 

Escapes

We typically long for beautiful and far-away places to go on vacation with our families.  Those once or twice a year vacations can do wonders for us.  But other times we just need a little reprieve and plan girls’ trips, weekend escapes and even quick day jaunts.   The essence of this need is just getting away from our everyday lives to do something fun, different, or just to relax.  Don’t we all need a quick break from our everyday once in a while?  As much as I love my children and the life I lead in its entirety, it does get tiring.  Sometimes it gets very tiring with no rest for the weary! Ha! 
What do you do when you desperately need a get-away?  What can you do to get the little breather you need?   What have you done lately when you’ve wanted to take a little break?  This is my birthday month and I made a decision to not focus on my age, but rather to enjoy the whole month; and I am.  I’ve tried doing different things.  Not necessarily majorly different, but perhaps things I haven’t done in years.  Things I used to do as a child and things that children do.  The other day I watched an episode of Arthur the Aardvark on PBS!  It was my kids’ favorite show for many years and it brought back many wonderful memories of such innocent times.  Another day I took a walk at a nearby park.  There were young kids playing, running around and rolling down a sloping lawn.  I decided to lie on the grass.  I admit I looked for the grassiest patch I could find; afraid I would get dirty or be uncomfortable.  I found a perfect spot under a tree with just a touch of the sun peeking through.  I laid there on the damp lawn watching the kids having fun.  Then, I closed my eyes.  I hadn’t felt that relaxed in a long time.  I even felt myself breathing calmly, and I thought:  ‘I can’t remember when was the last time I did this!’  It was truly a moment of pure delight.  Sheer perfection!  I want to do it again!!!
So, why do we stop ourselves from doing those things?  Who says adults can’t do things that children do?  What happened and when, to make us start behaving like ‘adults’ and forget all the joys of partaking in children’s activities?  I now have plans to do other things I used to do as a child.  Things I truly enjoyed and that were fun to me when I was younger.  There is no reason to stop.  So my birthday resolution is simple:  don’t act your age! 

 

It’s Not About Me

I admit it.  I have done it.  I don’t always do it; but I have done it. I say I won’t do it, I don’t want to do it; but sometimes it’s just there.  It happens when I’m really, really tired.  Other times it comes about after a particularly trying day.  And still others I can tell it’s when I’m frustrated because I feel people haven’t really heard me. But I know the many instances that it crops up it’s just because I live in an imperfect world with imperfect people just like imperfect me.  I feel sorry for myself.  There.  I’ve said it.  I feel sorry for poor, little old me.  Someone was mean to me.  My kids aren’t paying attention.  My friend forgot my birthday.  Poor, sad, little me. 

Last week I had one of those days.  I even shed a little tear.  Okay, a couple of tears.  Waaaaaahhwaaaaaahhh!  I felt so injured.  So hurt.  So lonely.  Then even worse – I went back in time to my elementary days – this is so unfair!!!  It’s almost funny to me now.  I can tell you that when I consider the reason I was feeling so sorry for myself, it’s ludicrous.  But that’s what happens.  You get a few little hurt feelings and rub them together like kindling to start a nice little fire.  Then you get your little cake and a few balloons, and there!  You have yourself all the makings of a great pity party.  No guests needed. 

But although God hasn’t gifted me with beauty or a sparkling personality; he has, thankfully, given me some common sense.  So, I got up and washed my face.  I immediately contacted three people who I knew were having life issues – a friend with cancer, another friend with a son in jail, and another friend who just broke up with her fiancé.  Certainly they all needed a word of support. I needed to remind myself that life is not about me.  And caring for others always takes away our inward focus and self-centered thoughts and ideas.  We tend to forget how great our influence can be in this world by a good ear, a kind word, a timely hug, a prayer offered in response to a need.   I can’t tell you how great I felt after that.  Thanking God that it’s not about me. 

 

Permission

I’ve been slacking off.  Well, to be honest, I haven’t.  You’ve heard it said that life gets in the way sometimes.  Responsibilities abound.  Children’s needs are at every turn.  Work never ends.  Caring for a home is non-stop.  So, I thank God for this blog that I started and which has been a huge blessing for me.  But I also appreciate that I have my priorities straight.  While this blog is a responsibility and a commitment, it’s not nearly on the level of importance or urgency as the other concerns in my life.  So lately it’s been a little on the downslope.  But not because I’m not thankful.  I am everyday.  It’s because life gets in the way.  And I’m thankful that I can give myself permission to miss this deadline and not others of greater significance. 

Death

We have all been touched by death.  No matter how old we are, someone in our family, someone we knew, loved, appreciated or cared for has died.  It’s the law of life; as soon as we are born we are progressing toward death.  Not trying to be morbid here, just stating a fact.  But because I know this, doesn’t make death any prettier.  I understand death is a fact of life, but I’m still not looking forward to it.  I want to be on this earth for as long as I can.  I want to see my children grow and mature and have families they will share with me.  I want to laugh with my sisters for many years to come; even if we’re laughing about menopause and frailties.  Just because I might be old and in poor health someday doesn’t make me any hungrier for death.  It’s still an unwanted.  I don’t want anyone I know and love to die.  I want them here with me.  I want them to enjoy everything there is to this life; even when I'm gone.

I’m sure some day my mother will be so old or so ill or both that I will thank God when she passes into sleep.  But that doesn’t mean I want her gone.  I’m sure some day I will die, but someone will be sad and miss me when I’m no longer here.  Our time on earth is precious - we have so much to do, so much to see and enjoy and share.  Let’s thank God every day for a new day and for all the days we have here.  Let's not waste time.  Our tomorrows are never guaranteed.  Let’s not take life for granted.