Not Knowing

When I was pregnant with my son I remember telling the doctor, ‘I want to know everything about this baby so I can prepare.’  Sounds very organized.  After all, if we know the sex of the baby we can prepare the baby’s room, register for the appropriate gifts in the right color, and… lessen the surprise factor.  Everything is nice and tidy.  Don’t get me wrong, I was happy with my choice of knowing everything I could.  But is that true of life in general?  Do we want to know everything about everything so we can further plan for it?  Do we want to know the outcome to all?  When I think about the countless times, situations, events, and my life in general, I’d rather not know.  If we had known what we know now or how things were going to turn out, would we have done what we did?  Would we have made the same choices?  Would we have attended that school or chosen that location for our vacation?  If we had known how that date was going to turn out, would we have gone out with that person?  If I had known how my weekend was going to turn out, would I have planned it as I did?  Even when things don’t turn out as we planned or wanted, there’s still great learning AND growth in it.  It seems to me that’s the best part of life; the unexpected that throws a wrench in our tidy plans and takes us in a whole new direction.  If I go out on a date and it doesn’t turn out as wonderful as I thought it would, is it a total loss?  Could it just be an opportunity to get to know someone a little better?  Or perhaps get outside of my comfort zone?  It’s not a total loss.  I believe we delude ourselves into thinking that if things don’t turn out as we thought, then they didn’t turn out right.  But did they?  What is right and what is wrong?  In life, is right equivalent to happy and predictable?  Is wrong unhappy and unwanted?  Surely we all plan and have many plans; but how many times have great people and chances come your way as a result of something that didn’t turn out as you assumed it would?  How often have you marveled or thanked God for something that wasn’t even on your horizon?   I'd rather not know how everything will turn out.  Life is not a sequence of planned, joyful events; and I’m thankful for that.