TFW

I had a wonderful weekend.  I didn’t go out of town.  I didn’t party.  I didn’t try a new, fancy restaurant.  I didn’t go shopping.  I didn’t even lie down to read a good book.  I had a TFW – a tech-free weekend with two teenagers.  My sweet daughter was grounded and her cell and iPad put away for a few days.  The wrench in my little plan was that my niece was coming over to spend the weekend with us.  So, I asked her mother if she could do me the great favor of having my niece hand over her cell phone so that she and my daughter would have a weekend to spend together without technology.  She said yes. OMG!  What an incredibly difference it made!  From the moment that they met, they talked and laughed.  They also talked with me all weekend.  We actually looked at each other.  There was not one time that I had to tell them to get off the cell phone to do something.  We talked at breakfast.  We talked on our way to church.  We talked when we went to Starbuck’s.  We talked when we came out of the movie theater.  We talked while they chose dresses.  We talked while we shopped.  We talked when we went out to lunch.  I think I’ve made my point here.  I hadn’t had that much face-to-face time with these girls in months.  I felt like I was reconnecting with them.  As if I meeting up with family I hadn’t seen in years.  Very thankful for a TFW!

Excuse me, but I like them

Hallmark movies are the best.  Christmas Hallmark movies are even better.  I’m sure I’m not the only one that, at least once in a while, likes to see sappy, always-a-happy-ending stories.  Seriously, check out a few of the titles, A Bride for Christmas, The Christmas Song, The Christmas Spirit, Finding Christmas, A Very Merry Mix-Up, A Royal Christmas, One Christmas Eve, and The Nine Lives of Christmas.  Could these movies have anything BUT a happy ending?  Call me a sucker for them, but I just can’t get enough; and lucky me, they were on the Hallmark channel lineup at the end of October!   Even before Thanksgiving.  Every, single, night.  Woohoo!  And I’m not the only one.  Noooooooooooooooo.  There are others out there like me.  Last Saturday night I was partying (not, not really, I was home in my pajamas) and my little sister called and asked if I wanted to go over for pizza and a Hallmark movie.  Yup, she’s hooked too!  I have a male friend who told me he has tons on his DVR.  Tons!  And he’s a guy!  Oh the shame!!  

Why do I enjoy them so much?  Because even though I’m a true realist who appreciates credible stories; and even though I’m sometimes ironic to a fault, I still need something that tugs at my heart strings and makes me smile.  I know that these movies are not cast with the brightest of Hollywood stars.  The stories are cheesy and really improbable at best.  But there is always pretty snow everywhere and the spirit of Christmas is apparent in all smiling townspeople and the homes and towns’ decorations.  And because there are pretty girls and hunky guys who inevitably fall in love and all will be right with the world in the end.  And if a dog was lost, he will be found by Christmas morning.  Because even as I'm probably the most pragmatic person I know, I still want to believe in the miracle that is Christmas.  And it might remind me of a loved one no longer here; or reminisce about a once-important connection.  I want to remember some long-forgotten moment that made a long-forgotten Christmas the most special one ever.  Now, excuse me, because I have to get back to my movie.

Blessings All Around Me

When I started this blog it was with the intent of being thankful.  I don’t have a problem with gratitude, I thought.  I’m always thanking people and I thank God every day when I pray.  But I wanted to challenge myself to write about something I am thankful for every day.  Well, life gets in the way.  Sometimes life is bigger than my intentions.  But my gratitude is always there.  In the past few weeks there have been days so full – busy, stressful and riddled with challenges that all I could do at the end of the day is drop in bed.  Some days I’ve been confronted with words that left me fearful and sad.   But I thank God for those days too.  There’s a growth purpose for all those it touches, not just me.  Even though I may not be writing, I see God’s mercies towards me.  I see them in my family, when they offer help, advice, a listening ear, a meal, or help with a pickup.  I see them in friends’ texts, checking on me.  I see them in an offer to go to lunch and decompress.  I see them in my church family who call and leave me encouraging messages ‘God is at work, things will get better, they will work out.’  And I even see them in the humor offered by colleagues.  Can I smile?  Can I laugh at a time like this?  Yes I can, and I do!  Thanking God for everything in my life today. 

Quite Unique

I know many people think she’s a wonderful person and a great young woman; but they don’t know it and feel it quite like I do.  She was my baby for years; six years to be exact.  Then I had my son and it changed things for us.  He became my priority; but it didn’t alter my feelings for her.  She was more than special then and still is now at the age of 21.  I remember so many of our times together when she was little.  I had many opportunities when I looked after her.  We had sleepovers just because and little outings to the park or the playground at McDonald’s.  We watched Disney movies and I told her funky made up stories, while she recounted in detail everything she could remember about her day, her friends, what she did the night before and the shoes she wanted to buy.  She was very particular about the clothes she wore and could obsess about the color or shape of a pair of socks.  But we always had fun.  One time that stays in my mind is babysitting her one afternoon.  She was watching the movie Mulan.  I was pregnant and tired and dozing off on the sofa.  When I woke up she was wearing her bathrobe with a sash tightly wrapped around her waist, white knee socks with flip flops, and had her hair up in a tight bun – the spitting image of Mulan! 

She’s all grown up with her steady boyfriend and soon to graduate from college.  She’s a beautiful young woman physically, yes, but also in mind and spirit.  She is smart and kind.  She’s a true, loyal friend, and a giving person.  She loves children and hopes to have many of her own.  Poor dear, she has no idea!!!  She honors her parents and minds her younger siblings.  She’s crazy about romantic movies and the latest fashions.  Our relationship has transformed through the years.  Now we are more friends than aunt and niece.  We don’t have sleepovers nor do I babysit her; but when we get together we talk at length about the things that matter and the things that she looks forward to in her future.  I couldn’t be happier that she actually wants to share with me.  She’s such a joy and a blessing; and more than quite unique. 

 

The Beauty of a Throw

I’m in love with the impressive ‘magic throws.’  They’re all the rage.  You know which ones they are.  Super soft throws that are velvety, warm and snuggly.  Regular old blankets cannot compare; and they give a kick in the pants to the ratty looking snuggie!  These throws are as soft and silky as can be and come in a myriad of colors, designs and sizes for babies, children and adults.  There isn’t a store that isn’t carrying some kind of throw or blanket in the new microfiber, microlight, silk touch plush, super soft cable knit, sherpa-lined, velour plush, elegant fleece, or my new favorite - luxe faux fur.  You get my drift!  Just throw one of these on and you’re in a toasty heaven that can lull you to sleep faster than all the tryptophan in your Thanksgiving dinner.  Right now I have two in my car and three in my house.  There’s one for every taste and even the most discriminating person can find a beautiful throw to fit their need and personality.  So, why are they so popular?  I have a theory.  You know how small children have security blankets?  Throws are really adult blankies.  Maybe this is a stretch, but for me, the minute I come in contact with it I immediately feel comfortable, warm and safe.  The first thing I do nowadays when I get home is sit or lay on my bed and grab my little pink throw.  I’m definitely attached! 

So thankful for little luxuries.  As my dear son likes to tell me, ‘it’s the little things.’ 

Heat

This morning I gave God thanks that I wasn’t a homeless person.  My furnace went out and I survived for a few days – it wasn’t that cold and the space heater I had was good enough.  But yesterday the house was just too cold.  The little heater that worked so well the last few days was no match for the bitter, freezing weather.  I was wearing clothes, my jacket, a scarf and was bundled up under two blankets, but I was still cold.  My feet, hands and nose were frozen.  I had offers from several family members and a friend to crash at their place, but you know how it is.  You’re comfortable in your own space with your own stuff.  I was reluctant; but then I got up and went to check on my daughter and that’s when I made the decision.  Just walking down the hall to her bedroom I felt as if I was outdoors.  We packed up and went to my brother’s house.  It felt hot when we stepped in; but it was such a relief.  We finally started to defrost as we got ready to go to sleep.  The bed was so comfortable.  We had extra pillows and soft sheets and a nice quilt.  We slept soundly.  I don’t remember even waking up once. 

So this morning I thanked God for the comfort and warmth.  It’s not often we do this.  We take so many things for granted – life, health, family, homes, jobs, food, transportation, AND heat when it’s cold outside.  I thought about the homeless.  Where and how did they sleep last night?  Did they have enough covers?  Would they be able to huddle with others at least?  Were they warm at all?  I can’t believe that anyone sleeping outdoors would be warm when it’s in the 20s.  No matter how many coats, blankets and makeshift walls made out of cardboard.  Today I thank God for his provision for us.  Always timely.  Always perfect.  But I also thank God because I know He gives us these glimpses so that we can have compassion for others. 

And…Winter’s Here!

I’m thankful for winter for many reasons.  Some of these are silly, but they’re all still pretty great.

 Things to love and do in winter:

·         The holidays – Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s!

·         Snow, if you’re lucky!

·         Everything smells cleaner

·         Baking

·         You wear all your cute scarfs and you can actually wear a hat without sweating

·         Hot chocolate and apple cider are on the menu everywhere

·         Ice skating, even if you’re rotten at it, is cool

·         Christmas lights, Christmas music, Christmas movies, Christmas food, Christmas parties

·         Winter vacations

·         Snow days off work and school

·         Chili, soup, stews and anything in a crockpot

Things you can get away with in winter:

·         No one will know if you didn’t shave your legs (or your underarms!)

·         Wearing hideous or mismatched pajamas

·         Big, heavy, fatty meals, because we all expect to gain weight in the winter, don’t we?

·         You can bypass your monthly pedicure

·         Sleeping late and napping – who could blame you when it’s dark and cold outside?

·         Hallmark, Lifetime or Cooking channel marathons

·         You have a great reason to NOT work out – too cold, my face would freeze!

 

Put a Ring on It

What is the meaning of an engagement ring? Typically it’s a small band made of a precious metal topped with a precious stone. But it’s not merely a piece of jewelry. It’s not just a costly gift. Obviously, it’s a promise and a commitment ….for a further commitment, right? What meaning does it hold for the recipient? What about the asking for her hand and giving her a promise to marry her do for the relationship? What are the feelings around the actual giving and receiving? What value does it hold in terms of a future? When I was proposed to, my intended didn’t give me an engagement ring. He was a little frugal to say the least. His mother then gave me her own engagement ring. It wasn’t a costly or beautiful piece. I appreciated it, but not like I would’ve had HE given it to me. Had it cost HIM some money. Had HE taken the time to shop and look for a special ring for me. Had HE kneeled and proposed and put a ring on it.  To me the ring symbolizes more than just ‘I want you to be my wife and be my family.’ It means I love you, I’m crazy about you, I can’t live without you, I want to spend my life with you, so marry me!!! And what woman doesn’t want that??!!!

If you’re as old as I am you’ll undoubtedly know who Karen Carpenter was. Yeah, yeah, I know, sappy songs till the cows come home. I was a lot younger then. I loved her clear and natural voice and I sang all her songs; way too loud, even though I couldn’t carry a tune if you paid me. One of my favorites is “Top of the World.’ You know it. It played at every wedding in the 70s, 80s, and for those like me, in the 90s. I mean, who could resist:

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

Seriously? Words only spoken by a very young and crazy person in love. Or a bride-to-be! I think that’s what the engagement ring symbolizes! You’re crazy in love and this ring shouts it to the world. Thankful today for all those crazy people in love. Bless their little hearts!

Tea Bags

"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

I like me.  I like that I feel strong in spite of my weaknesses.  I like that I’m still learning and growing.  I like that I have experienced so many things, people and places.  So many situations. Good and bad. Obviously, if I had to do some things all over again, I might think a little more about some decisions I made, but then I wouldn’t be where I am.  Right here.  Right now.  Happy and content.  And if you ask me, content is a heck of a lot better than happy.  Happy is fun and momentary.  Content is an all-encompassing satisfaction with your life.  I like that.  It doesn’t mean that I walk around with an ethereal cloud above my head. It means I’m real and my life is good; warts and all.  It’s a great life.

I know other women out there.  Some of them are a lot like me.  Real women.  Strong women.  Women whose lives are quite different from mine, but women who show their strength in their own way every day.  I see beautiful, smart, young women with bright futures.  A lot of studying; college and career decisions.  One is planning a wedding with all the excitement around it.  I remember those days.  Nothing could dampen my enthusiasm and resolve to have it my way.  I know several divorced women – some older, some younger; but with similar burdens and concerns.  A woman whose son committed suicide years ago.  She could’ve fallen apart and died right along with him.  She could’ve resorted to medication and become withdrawn and lonely.  But she isn’t.  She loves him still, of course.  She keeps his memory alive.  And she goes on.  There’s the one with the undiagnosed illness.  Too many doctors and surgeries.  Too much pain and still no relief.  Yet she smiles as she offers blessings every week at church.  And the woman recently separated.  Oh what excessive and sinister doubts we harbor at a time like that!  What does she have that I don’t?  Is she prettier?  Younger?  More interesting?  It’s none of those.  I know.  A couple of women trying to manage their teenagers. You love those crazy kids and the stories are funny sometimes; but draining most of the time.  A woman in her 50s back in college.  I think, yikes!  But she's enjoying it and doing great.  She'll be a teacher next year.  A woman struggling with an unruly child.  A woman who’s trying to find herself in a new and different, but open life.  An octogenarian who’s still shepherding her flock.  Still guiding and helping her family and others every single day. 

Who says women are the weaker sex?  I can prove they're not.  Just look around you and a find a woman.  Start a conversation and ask a couple of questions.  Then hear their life stories.  You’ll be amazed and thankful for all the strong, wonderful women around you.    

 

Tea Party

I know why little girls like tea parties.  It gives them an opportunity to act grown up and sip tea and eat like the big girls do.  But why do adult women like tea parties?  We don’t have to pretend we’re adults like when we were children.  They’re obviously frou-frou, all flowery and pastels, with lots of highly caloric foods.  So, what’s the attraction? 

I had a tea party for my birthday.  It wasn’t my idea, but I loved it just the same.  The tables were set with white tablecloths, beautiful mismatched china, and fresh flowers.  There were real teapots with several types of teas and an array of sweet and savory delicacies to match any highfalutin English tea from the mother country.  There were even party favors – the finest little purse mirrors in the shape of teapots!  And we were all compliant and seized the opportunity to dress up and everyone at the party looked beautiful.  How often does that happen in this age of casualness when even Thanksgiving and Christmas don’t merit a pretty dress or a suit anymore?! 

There were women there from 14 to 79.  And what a treat it was!  I was fortunate enough to NOT sit with the ladies my age.  I sat at the ‘young’ table.  Quite a difference in decibel!  There was raucous laughter and shrieks at my table.  A lot of ‘don’t say that!’ and ‘ooooohh!’ and ‘I’m gonna get ya!’  While at the other ‘older’ more passive and sedate table, there was talk of weddings and church services!!!  Although I would’ve ordinarily sat with the ladies, I was so glad that I was paired up with the young ladies.  When the time came for the games, my table was laughing and crying to the point that one of the young ones peed on herself!  Hmmm.  In true form I was like, ‘whaaaaaat?’  It was crazy, but funny.  Although I was taken aback because I didn’t believe it at first, I was glad that they had such a great time.  When was the last time that you laughed uncontrollably to the point you peed on your pants??!!!  Meanwhile at the other table the conversation continued with a lady putting her house up for sale!!! 

So, here's a great big thanks for tea parties that can be shared with friends and family, young and old.  Tea parties never go out of style. 

Finally Fall

I live in Texas and so our seasons aren’t really seasons.  We have a looooooooooooooooooooong summer, a two-week fall, a mild winter, a two-week spring, and…..back to the looooooooooooooooooong summer.  So, by November we are really, really ready for a change.  Ready to be done with the 90 degree weather.  Well, at least I am.  If you talk to born and raised Texans, they think would be happy with summer all year around.  So I’m deliriously happy to be enjoying 50s.  To have to break out real shoes and socks and jackets and yesterday I even grabbed a scarf because I was going to be outdoors.  Ahhh, life’s great joys.  It reminds me of all the great things about fall – decent walks that don’t leave you sweating after a few yards; not lowering the air conditioner ‘just two degrees’ because it’s still too hot!  And one of my favorite times of the year is also a great time for food.  We feel like hot chocolate, and we feel free to make soups again, yummy heavy foods, and our ovens get a lot of wear as we roast and bake.   When you visit someone they offer you tea, hot tea.  Not the standard Texas sweet iced tea!  Welcome fall!