Madrid

I dare anyone out there to compete for the cutest, most tender, most affectionate, most kissable kid ever!!!  Madrid is 4 years old and he’s little at about 3 feet tall, but he’s crazy special.  He’s smart and funny and loves to snuggle to hear my made-up stories.  He loves coming to my house because, even though my kids are teenagers, I still have plenty of toys, legos and a train table in my family room.  He appreciates that I always have fruit – I think it’s his favorite because he grazes for hours  and leaves my fruit bowl empty at the end of the day!

He is the best kisser ever.  By best kisser I mean non-stop kisser.  He is always kissing someone.  He doesn’t really need any reason.  Of course you get the hello and goodbye kisses, but you also get many more in between.  Madrid kisses because you’re sweet to him; because you’re holding him, or because you happen to be sitting next to him.  Other times he kisses you because you told him you loved him.  And still other times he kisses you because he said ‘I love you.’  Sometimes he kisses you because you’re in his way!!!  I’ve been surprised when I’ve been in the kitchen cooking or washing dishes and he comes up, his tiny little self, and lands a kiss on my leg or my bum!  Or, if he’s playing on the floor and notices your leg…well, you’ll get a peck on your calf at the very moment! 

Today I give thanks for the sweetest crazy kid that I love so much. He couldn’t be more kissable!

My Great Birthday

It’s my birthday today.  Not birthday month; my actual birthday.  The day I was born.  My mom has told me the story of my birth before; and every so often I ask her to repeat it.  I’m a real Southerner.  I was born in South America, in Peru.  My parents were not well to do.  They didn’t have insurance.  They couldn’t afford to go to a hospital.  It was a weekday when it happened.  My father was at work.  My eldest sister, at 6 years old, was in school.  My other brother and sister, not school-age yet, were on the first floor of the house – they were not permitted on the second floor where mom was in labor.  Only Señora Rosita, our neighbor from down the block, would be allowed upstairs to help my mom prepare and await the visit of the neighborhood doctor.  He made house calls for the ladies who could not afford delivering at a hospital. This day he was not in a rush being that my mom was multiparous.  What in the hey is that you ask?  Multiparous is a woman who has given birth to more than one child!  Yep, that’s how they used to talk back then!

It was lunch time.  I think that has something to do with the fact that I have an ongoing love affair with food.  I was born at lunch time and I was born fat.  Fat round legs and butt, fat arms and neck, and the roundest face crowned with a head full of dark hair.  My mom said I never stretched out; I came out looking like a ball with hair. Does that not just sound too precious??!! 

But seriously, I can’t thank God enough for these years He’s given me.  I feel so incredibly blessed with my children, my mother, my siblings, my family, my extended family, my church family, my spiritual family, my very best and close friends, so many friends, co-workers - great people all around me who support me, appreciate me and show me their love in so many ways.  I’m truly blessed today and always. It’s a great birthday indeed!

Another Week Ends

Seems like the best thing you can hope for after a crazy and chaotic week is to end it!!!  Glad it's over. Thanking God for the rest and reprieve of the weekend. 

Busyness

My life is full.  It is quite busy.  I don’t complain though.  I’m thankful.  I know exactly what I have; and it’s a lot.  I can’t even imagine how other single moms or dads manage work, responsibilities and multiple kids.  I thank God for the privilege He has given me to be a mom and to love and raise my kids.  I thank God that I’m of service to others and can teach and help in many ways.  And today I just thank God that I have my job and many activities to keep me busy.  Honestly, some of them I wish I didn’t have to do; but all of them work for my good.  When you’re going through tough times, there are many things you can do – you can thank God because there’s always something to be thankful for, you can pray with others and for others, you can lean on family and friends, you can accept pain as part of life and growth, and you can view things realistically and with hope.  But today I’m really thanking God for work and activities.  Sometimes things just take time.  You just have to patiently wait.  And it’s during those periods that I thank God for the fullness and busyness of my day. 

You Had Me at Hello

Not to mention this again, but it is my birthday month. I've given myself permission to do great and different things, see friends and family, try new places, and just enjoy it all. Yesterday I caught up with some old friends. What a treat!!!  This is a special group of friends.  We all worked together many years ago; and even though we have all gone on to jobs at various other companies, we always communicate.  We want to keep in touch.  Through the last 10 years, we’ve seen life changes, divorces, sickness, and sadness.  But we’ve also seen great moves, health, renewed relationships, weddings, graduations, and a lot of good things. 

Yesterday we caught up by spending a very lengthy lunch which started in the afternoon and spilled into evening.  Five hours later, tons of appetizers, plates of food and desserts of all kinds everywhere, we were still sitting and laughing about a friend’s recounting of her new relationship.  It was the last story of the evening, and weren’t we glad we asked!  The story started when they met at church many years ago.  Guy meets our friend.  They date, but he’s noncommittal; so it doesn’t work out and our friend breaks up with him.  On the rebound, guy quickly gets married to another girl.  So…..guy realizes his mistake and divorces even more quickly.  Feeling unworthy and ashamed, he never gets in touch with our friend again.  After a few years, our friend, whom we found out has impeccable investigatory skills and is a consummate stalker, finds out he’s divorced through the magic that is public records and Facebook!  She finds out where he goes to church; and after peeking at him through the pews for a couple of months, finally approaches him to say hi.  Cut to the end of the interminable story, she had him at hello.  They’re seeing each other again.

Today I’m very thankful for my cool group of friends.  Never a dull moment with them. 

Escapes

We typically long for beautiful and far-away places to go on vacation with our families.  Those once or twice a year vacations can do wonders for us.  But other times we just need a little reprieve and plan girls’ trips, weekend escapes and even quick day jaunts.   The essence of this need is just getting away from our everyday lives to do something fun, different, or just to relax.  Don’t we all need a quick break from our everyday once in a while?  As much as I love my children and the life I lead in its entirety, it does get tiring.  Sometimes it gets very tiring with no rest for the weary! Ha! 
What do you do when you desperately need a get-away?  What can you do to get the little breather you need?   What have you done lately when you’ve wanted to take a little break?  This is my birthday month and I made a decision to not focus on my age, but rather to enjoy the whole month; and I am.  I’ve tried doing different things.  Not necessarily majorly different, but perhaps things I haven’t done in years.  Things I used to do as a child and things that children do.  The other day I watched an episode of Arthur the Aardvark on PBS!  It was my kids’ favorite show for many years and it brought back many wonderful memories of such innocent times.  Another day I took a walk at a nearby park.  There were young kids playing, running around and rolling down a sloping lawn.  I decided to lie on the grass.  I admit I looked for the grassiest patch I could find; afraid I would get dirty or be uncomfortable.  I found a perfect spot under a tree with just a touch of the sun peeking through.  I laid there on the damp lawn watching the kids having fun.  Then, I closed my eyes.  I hadn’t felt that relaxed in a long time.  I even felt myself breathing calmly, and I thought:  ‘I can’t remember when was the last time I did this!’  It was truly a moment of pure delight.  Sheer perfection!  I want to do it again!!!
So, why do we stop ourselves from doing those things?  Who says adults can’t do things that children do?  What happened and when, to make us start behaving like ‘adults’ and forget all the joys of partaking in children’s activities?  I now have plans to do other things I used to do as a child.  Things I truly enjoyed and that were fun to me when I was younger.  There is no reason to stop.  So my birthday resolution is simple:  don’t act your age! 

 

It’s Not About Me

I admit it.  I have done it.  I don’t always do it; but I have done it. I say I won’t do it, I don’t want to do it; but sometimes it’s just there.  It happens when I’m really, really tired.  Other times it comes about after a particularly trying day.  And still others I can tell it’s when I’m frustrated because I feel people haven’t really heard me. But I know the many instances that it crops up it’s just because I live in an imperfect world with imperfect people just like imperfect me.  I feel sorry for myself.  There.  I’ve said it.  I feel sorry for poor, little old me.  Someone was mean to me.  My kids aren’t paying attention.  My friend forgot my birthday.  Poor, sad, little me. 

Last week I had one of those days.  I even shed a little tear.  Okay, a couple of tears.  Waaaaaahhwaaaaaahhh!  I felt so injured.  So hurt.  So lonely.  Then even worse – I went back in time to my elementary days – this is so unfair!!!  It’s almost funny to me now.  I can tell you that when I consider the reason I was feeling so sorry for myself, it’s ludicrous.  But that’s what happens.  You get a few little hurt feelings and rub them together like kindling to start a nice little fire.  Then you get your little cake and a few balloons, and there!  You have yourself all the makings of a great pity party.  No guests needed. 

But although God hasn’t gifted me with beauty or a sparkling personality; he has, thankfully, given me some common sense.  So, I got up and washed my face.  I immediately contacted three people who I knew were having life issues – a friend with cancer, another friend with a son in jail, and another friend who just broke up with her fiancé.  Certainly they all needed a word of support. I needed to remind myself that life is not about me.  And caring for others always takes away our inward focus and self-centered thoughts and ideas.  We tend to forget how great our influence can be in this world by a good ear, a kind word, a timely hug, a prayer offered in response to a need.   I can’t tell you how great I felt after that.  Thanking God that it’s not about me. 

 

Permission

I’ve been slacking off.  Well, to be honest, I haven’t.  You’ve heard it said that life gets in the way sometimes.  Responsibilities abound.  Children’s needs are at every turn.  Work never ends.  Caring for a home is non-stop.  So, I thank God for this blog that I started and which has been a huge blessing for me.  But I also appreciate that I have my priorities straight.  While this blog is a responsibility and a commitment, it’s not nearly on the level of importance or urgency as the other concerns in my life.  So lately it’s been a little on the downslope.  But not because I’m not thankful.  I am everyday.  It’s because life gets in the way.  And I’m thankful that I can give myself permission to miss this deadline and not others of greater significance. 

Death

We have all been touched by death.  No matter how old we are, someone in our family, someone we knew, loved, appreciated or cared for has died.  It’s the law of life; as soon as we are born we are progressing toward death.  Not trying to be morbid here, just stating a fact.  But because I know this, doesn’t make death any prettier.  I understand death is a fact of life, but I’m still not looking forward to it.  I want to be on this earth for as long as I can.  I want to see my children grow and mature and have families they will share with me.  I want to laugh with my sisters for many years to come; even if we’re laughing about menopause and frailties.  Just because I might be old and in poor health someday doesn’t make me any hungrier for death.  It’s still an unwanted.  I don’t want anyone I know and love to die.  I want them here with me.  I want them to enjoy everything there is to this life; even when I'm gone.

I’m sure some day my mother will be so old or so ill or both that I will thank God when she passes into sleep.  But that doesn’t mean I want her gone.  I’m sure some day I will die, but someone will be sad and miss me when I’m no longer here.  Our time on earth is precious - we have so much to do, so much to see and enjoy and share.  Let’s thank God every day for a new day and for all the days we have here.  Let's not waste time.  Our tomorrows are never guaranteed.  Let’s not take life for granted. 

In the Moment

I’m sure we all have them - those times when we ask ourselves, ‘what if?’  What would our lives be if we could go back and relive some of the things, experiences, or relationships we missed?  What if I hadn’t broken up with that girl when I was 17? What if I’d pursued a college education?  What if I hadn’t had that horrible fight with my dad?  What if I had helped my sister when she asked?  What if I hadn’t moved to Texas?  What if, what if, what if!  I know we all do ask ourselves that question.  Or its first cousin, ‘if only.’  If only I hadn’t married that guy.  If only I’d taken that trip to see the Taj Mahal.  If only I’d bought my son the car he wanted.  If only I’d accepted the other job offer instead of the one I did.  If only, if only, if only.  We never use those phrases in a positive way, it’s always in reference to something we missed, or thought we missed.  Seems like a wasteful and sad way to live! 

I worked with this guy who was so remarkably smart that I just enjoyed every interaction I had with him.  Although he was a little too Zen for me, he always seemed to have the last and true word when he said ‘in the moment.’  His colleagues knew that whenever he chaired a meeting, there would be the habitual ‘let’s think of this in the moment.’  Or if he had to coach a young team member, he would say ‘please, be in the moment.’ If someone dare ask what he meant by that, his answer was simple, ‘you need to be present, engaged, and ready to go.’  He didn’t have time for the many options or possibilities.  He didn’t waste time with the ‘what ifs’ or ‘if onlys.’  He just evaluated the current facts and made decisions.  I loved it!  

So, let’s be in the moment.  Let’s not lose precious opportunities.  Let’s not waste time reliving the past or longing for something that cannot be.  The past is past.  Ummmm, that’s why it’s called past (I’m so smart).  And let’s not focus or worry about the future.  It’ll create its own burdens and concerns.  Let’s be present in our now.  Let’s enjoy what we have - now.  Let’s not miss what we have by wishing for something else.  Let’s not miss anything available to us now by looking backwards or forwards.  Let’s be grateful for whatever we have and is in our lives now.  Let’s live in the moment!

Today is a Good Day to Have a Good day

Today is a good day for a good day.  I don’t know where I heard or saw this the first time, but it makes so much sense.  There are days, such as many days lately, that are a little bit difficult.  Relationships are on edge, things are not falling into place as we would like, pending items continue to be pending...you know those days.  We all have them.  What can we do?  Relationships don’t depend on us or our doing alone.  Pending items cannot be rushed.  And our life cycle continues.  What are we to do?  How do we cope on those just dreary, lackluster or even sad and frustrating days when there’s not a whole lot of action we can take, but know we must just wait? 

I read a story about a businessman flying back from a business trip.  As he waited for his luggage, he saw a big family, wife and lots of children, eagerly looking for the dad.  When they spotted him, they ran to him; all hugged him, from the youngest to the eldest teenager.  All were holding on to him everywhere, his arms, legs, embracing and kissing him.  The dad in turn told them how happy he was to finally see them and showered them with compliments about how proud he was of them, how much they’d grown and how beautiful his wife looked!  The businessman had to ask the dad, ‘how long were you gone?’  The dad answered, ‘one day.’  At this answer the businessman was stunned and replied, ‘I hope someday I can have that with my family.’  And the dad answered, ‘Don’t hope, decide!’

Decide!  What a great concept.  So today, instead of hoping or wishing this will be a great day, let’s decide it will be!  Today is a great day for a good day.

About the job

It’s hard to listen to someone complain about their job.  First of all, I want to say that I too complain; have complained, and will probably complain at some point about an aspect of my job.  No matter how incredible the job, how great the pay, how well-suited you are for it, the fact is that we all have days when something bothers us, frustrates us, or when we just plain have to do something we don’t love or that isn’t our strength.  But I’m not talking about a bad day or a pet peeve.  I’m talking about people who routinely complain about their work.  Do you know one of those?  His boss is ignorant and doesn’t understand how to run the business.  Her colleagues are slow and can’t work at the same pace she does.  His pay is below market value and he will never reach his earning potential.  No one can be more ethical, honest, truthful or hard working than she is!!!  Now tell me, once you’ve heard the complaining, how many more times do you want to hear it?  Two, three times?  Five?  Seven?  Or alternatively, when you’ve heard it enough times, what happens?  Are you turned off by this person?  Do you not want to talk to this individual anymore?  Or does it maybe make you want to complain about your job too?  Like whose job is worse than the other’s?

If you’ve ever been in a situation on the giving or receiving end of this, here’s another way of looking at this.  Can you think of one person, just one person who would want to have the job?  Anyone?  Can you venture a guess as to why?  Maybe the person is unemployed?  Is it the type of work?  The pay?  Benefits?  Flexibility?  What about this job would be good, interesting, valuable or worthwhile to this person?  Would he perform the job better?  Would she enjoy it more?  Would he be a better employee?  And how many others would want the job?  I believe if we would look at it from that perspective, we would place great value in these jobs – no matter what we might dislike or be unhappy about.  And if we’re really unhappy, then the best thing to do is just move on.  We don’t do anyone any favor – not ourselves or our employers when we choose to remain in a place that just isn’t working for us.  Instead of complaining, let’s just move on!

Today I’m very, very grateful for my job. 

 

Birthday Month

Do you remember your 7^th birthday?  Family around you showering you with attention, a perfectly-themed cake and balloons?  Your 13^th birthday? Your friends, a special party, and perhaps finally getting a sought after gift you’d been talking about for months?   Your 18^th birthday?  How you celebrated being an ‘adult’ and the elation of thinking you were now finally free from your parents’ claws?  How were those celebrations?  Did you look forward to them with eager anticipation?  What you would do, who would be there, what presents would your friends and family bring?  Were they fun?  Full of excitement?  Did you play, party and laugh till your sides hurt?

My children have had wonderful birthdays and experiences.  We’ve done everything - tea parties, pool parties, paintball parties and sleepover parties at hotels.  I have loved indulging them and they’ve more than enjoyed the festivities and friends.  But to this day I remember a very small and humble party my mom held in my honor when I was 7 or 8.  I could not contain my enthusiasm.  We didn’t usually have parties; we could not afford them.  We had a little home-baked cake and my friends from the neighborhood brought me gifts – I recall a comb, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and a beautifully wrapped pack of cookies – my favorite cookies!  I don’t remember any other parties from my childhood, don’t think I had any other, but I remember that one.  And I still recount that special birthday story to my kids because that day I was happy; really, I was ecstatic. 

So, Hear ye, Hear ye!  All ye Kings and Queens, Knights and Nobles!  I do proclaim this my birthday month!  I’m going to enjoy this birthday month as if I were 7 or 8 years old.  I’m going to look forward to partying with friends and family.  I will not settle for small ‘whatever’ lunches or dinners.  I will request all my extra-special places and favorite dishes.  I will not feel bad if someone wants to cook and bake for me or drive fifty miles to see me.  I will not turn down any gift nor say ‘it’s okay I don’t need anything.’  I will not discuss my weight, my skin or hair.  I will thank God and rejoice that I’m a year older and wiser.  I will laugh till my face hurts.  I will enjoy it all.  Completely.  Fully.  Unapologetically.
   

Being Grateful Can Extend Your Life

Today I cheated and borrowed.  But here's a great article on things you can do to extend your life.  Yes, being grateful is one of them!!!

http://www.dallasnews.com/lifestyles/health-and-fitness/health/20140929-10-things-you-can-do-right-now-to-live-longer.ece