It's Not Too Late

On February 11, 1990, Nelson Mandela, leader of the movement to end South African apartheid, was released from prison after 27 years.  Mr. Mandela spent the first 18 years of his 27 years in jail at the brutal Robben island Prison.  He was confined to a small cell without a bed or plumbing; and was forced to do hard labor in a quarry.  He could write and receive a letter once every 6 months; and once a year, he could meet a visitor for 30 minutes.  But his resolve remained unbroken.  Although in jail, Mandela remained the symbolic leader of the anti-apartheid movement.  He also led a movement of civil disobedience at the prison and coerced the South African officials into drastically improving conditions there.  He was later moved to another location where he lived under house arrest until he was released in 1990.  In 1994, after the dismantling of apartheid and the establishment of a multiracial government, Mandela was elected president. 

Sometimes when I’m alone on the weekends and I have no plans, I get restless.  I get cabin fever.  I don’t like to be cooped up for very long.  I have to go out; even if it’s just to get gas or a donut.  The idea of being in prison for that many years doesn’t even fit in my head.  Nor can I even imagine living in the most offensive, grueling and cut-off conditions that Mandela lived.  The majority of us will never have to step into a prison cell; not even for a visit.  We live in the greatest country in the world where democracy and freedom are the truest and highest values we uphold.  We are free.  We are free to choose our schooling, our professions and our life mates.  We are free to choose where to live.  We are free to do as we please.  We live free and die free.  But the irony of this world’s freedom doesn’t escape me as a Christian.  We have incredible freedoms, yet we are imprisoned, trapped, and bound by our worldly pursuits, habits and doings.  We are deceived when we don’t see that these small choices can bring great consequences.  They appear to have minor importance at first - but choices that little by little, day to day, contribute to a loss of sensitivity; thereby allowing us to do worse things.  Those things we never would’ve imagined ourselves doing or falling prey to.  Those things that are offensive to God and that would’ve been distasteful to us a few years or even months ago.  Those things that are called sin.  Our lives are then fraught with the grueling conditions we have set for ourselves – shame, anger, stress, and pain; and we live lonely and cut-off from God; not by Him, but because we feel ashamed and unworthy. 

Thankfully, IT IS NOT TOO LATE.  “God strengthened him once more, and he toppled the pillars of the Philistine house, killing thousands.’  Judges 16:30.  It wasn’t too late for Samson, and it’s not too late for us.  We don’t have to live  in the prison of sin.  We can be different by the power of the Holy Spirit when we surrender to Him.  The bible lists Samson as a man of faith.  I thank God that in His strength, I can be counted as a woman of faith. 

 

January 28, 1986

I remember the day very clearly although it was 29 years ago.  I was at work.  It was an ordinary day with ordinary tasks.  Then I heard rumblings, everyone was convening in the center hall of our small office.  What happened?  I really couldn’t understand the comments.  ‘It disintegrated.’  ‘It exploded.’  ‘It blew up.’  Why was everyone looking so worried?  Colleagues who never gave a care about anything now looked totally in shock – mouths open in disbelief, hands clasped as if in prayer, while others ran to the conference area to turn on the TV.  That morning, the Challenger, the space shuttle that had orbited in space nine times before, had launched into space for the tenth time.  What was interesting about this mission was that, to show the world the normalcy of space travel, a teacher would join the astronauts in space.  Christa McAuliffe, a 37 year- old teacher, had been selected among 11,000 candidates to join the Challenger team to perform experiments and teach lessons from space.  It was the mission of a lifetime for a teacher from New Hampshire. It was a day of true excitement and wonderful challenges for the entire crew.  Seventy-three seconds after launch and before the astonished eyes of the world, the Challenger disintegrated in space killing the seven crew members aboard.  There is some debate as to whether any of the astronauts survived the blast; and if so, how few seconds they would have lived after that point.  But the result is just the same.  Seven precious people died that day.  Did any of them have any idea that this most horrible tragedy would happen?  Of course they didn’t.  Did they know there was a risk?  Yes, there is always a risk, however small, that something could happen. 

As Christians many times we too take risks.  We put our eternal lives at risk every single day when we choose NOT to submit our own self to God.  When we continue to do our will and not His; when we are willfully disobedient, we are taking a risk.  We don’t know how long we have on this earth; nor do we know if we’ll have time to make a change, but we continue as is.  And what about the lives of those we come in contact with?  We forget the great sacrifice Jesus made for others’ lives when we choose NOT to tell them about Jesus.  In the worst case, we are lazy and assume someone else will do the job.  The other side of the coin may be that we are fearful, embarrassed or perhaps ashamed that we might not know how to do this properly.  As children of our dear God, how long will we continue to live in this manner? God’s word tells us that God’s sons are those who live in the Spirit; and if we live in the flesh, we shall die.  But if we live in the Spirit we shall live. 

Posthumously, Christa was awarded the Congressional Space Medal of Honor.  It is a great privilege and I’m sure her family accepted it sadly but proudly.  But I can tell you that I don’t want post anything.  There is nothing for us to do after we’re gone.  There is no post for the children of God.  We don’t have guarantees about tomorrow.  We don’t even know about later.  There is only now.  I thank God today for my now and I pray that He help me live in the Spirit and use me for His glory.

 

 

 

30 Seconds of Fame

This morning there was a contest on the radio.  It was simple.  There were a few questions asked and, if answered correctly, the winner got 30 seconds of air time.  30 seconds to say anything they wanted to the world.  Imagine that! What a cool prize!  I immediately assumed that the persons who were interested in this free air time would use it for a great commercial to advertise their business.  Then I thought, maybe someone wants to propose on air.  Or perhaps there’s an important fundraiser and they can use the radio to get the word out to so many people. I quickly though, ‘how would I use those 30 seconds?’  A woman won.  She sounded young; I would guess about 30 years old at most.  The DJs were giddy with excitement as they congratulated her.  I cranked up the volume.  I was really curious about how this woman would use her air time.  Then the DJs gave the rules for the 30 seconds of airtime.  ‘You have 30 seconds, and 30 seconds only.  You can say anything you want; anything at all.  It’s up to you.  So think about what you want to say.  30 seconds go quickly.’  They rang the bell.  And the winner spoke.  ‘I just want to thank God ..…….’ and her voice immediately broke.  You could hear her trying to compose herself as she swallowed hard.  Then she softly said, ‘I just want to thank God for everything He’s done for me.  I want to thank Him because He’s always been there and He’s gotten me through so many things in my life.   And I wish everyone would know him like I know him.’  Then it was time for me to swallow hard.  I also wanted to thank God.  Where would I be without him?  He has gotten me through so much indeed!!!  Honestly, I don’t know how I would’ve used those 30 seconds, but I know that to witness for God IS the best use of 30 seconds, a few minutes, an hour, or a day.  Thank you dear daddy!

 

The Best Day

My daughter was sick.  Not sick enough to quarantine her, but sick enough not to go to school.  She also made me miss work because she hates staying home alone AND because she said ‘mom, I want you to stay home and take care of me.’  How can I say no??!!  This is a 14 year old.  This is the daughter that has recently just about written me off her life in favor of her friends and social media. This is my sweetheart who has in recent months discovered that she’s way smarter than me.  She knows everything and has so little need for my advice and direction.  ‘You just don’t get it mom.’  It’s a miracle that I’ve survived these many years with this gigantic gap in knowledge and intelligence.  And maybe she’s right; maybe I don’t get it.  I don’t understand why someone who is as gifted as she is, will routinely respond to most of my questions with an ‘I don’t know.’   

So, with all this going on in her head, how often does she want to spend time with me?  Almost never.  Maybe I’m being generous.  The answer is never!  But I do think she realizes that she needs me; even if it’s only for a few essentials here and there.  And when she’s sick.  So this day was different.  It was splendid.  This wondrous day; the most special day I’ve had in months, was totally the opposite.  From the moment she asked me to stay with her she wanted to be with me.  We talked and talked.  We discussed a lot of things - her friends, school, church, some challenges.  We lounged together, ate together, watched TV, napped, and even spooned – at her request – ‘mom, hug me.  I love you.’  Really?  When she woke up from the nap she said, ‘I miss you mom, can you hug me?’  Umm, I thought,  I miss you too, where have you been?!  But I didn’t say a word, I just climbed back into bed and hugged her some more.

Thanking God for incomparable days like these.

New Year/New Hope

Another one bites the dust!  Time does go by fast.  2014 is gone and we’re well into 2015.  Already one week!  I’m very grateful for 2014.  A year of health, growth and discovery.  A year to help those in need.  To make new friends and try new things.  As I look back at last year, I can also think of some incredibly challenging experiences.  Sad moments.  Disappointing times.  Who hasn’t had their share of disappointments?  I can think of two or three in the last couple of weeks; even during the holidays!  But here’s a great, fresh new year.  I know that as God’s children, every single day, even hour or minute, is a fresh start.  But there’s a sense of newness and great expectations in the start of a new year.  Even if it’s just psychological.    Even if we don’t make resolutions.  There’s still a newborn year ahead of us.  And so many opportunities in front of us. 

So, here’s my pledge for this year.  I will continue to be thankful.  I will not give up; even when I want to.  I will have hope till the end.  I will trust more in the power of goodness.  I will believe and trust more in the God who created heaven and earth and sea, and every living creature.  And when I’m tempted to waiver; I will pray and ask God to help me believe; and I will give thanks.  Thanking God for hope today. 

 

Completed but Not Done

I had a 6 month experiment in gratitude and I’m so glad I did it.  I didn’t write every day.  There were days when the priority was definitely my children and other days were so full of tough challenges that just didn’t allow me to be thoughtful about what I was grateful for.  There were times when I wrote about something apparently silly like a fuzzy blanket; but it was definitely something I was grateful for.  I wrote about a few special people in my life; but it doesn’t mean that the rest are any less special.  I have many, many more family and friends that I love and plan to do justice to in a blog.  I have a sign in my house that reads ‘the best things in life aren’t things.’  I am grateful for so many great things; but more so for the people, experiences and learnings that are the true blessings in my life.  Today I’m thankful that I’ve learned more about me in the last few weeks.  Granted, some of the things I’ve learned I’m not entirely proud or happy about; but others have revealed so much more hope. I’ve learned that I’m extremely flawed and my daily stress a lot of the time comes from me; not from outside sources, but from me.  I’ve learned that in my efforts to be a good mom, daughter, worker, friend, etc. I sometimes fall short; but that’s okay.  I’m not perfect; never claimed to be; never expect to be.  Just want to be the person my kids and family are proud of.  It’s never too late; there's always hope.  I’m discovering that I want to be closer to loved ones, but a lot closer to God; because only then can I be the best me by the fulfillment of God’s love and grace for me.  So grateful again today!

Yes, Jesus thank you again!

Dear Jesus, today, as every day I want to thank you for life, love, health, family, friends, work, opportunities, being of help, intellect, beauty, freedom, ability to make choices, and many other innumerable daily blessings.  But today I really want to thank you for not giving me what I ask for.  I don’t know better.  You do.  I pray hard and completely for some things.  I pray in earnest.  I pray believing.  I pray that you will give me that which “I know” is best and is within your will.  But dear, dear Jesus, thank you, thank you, thank you!  Thank you because I don’t always get what I ask for.  Thank you because you know best – always and forever.  Thank you that you give me the opportunity to realize that your ways are not my ways.  Thank you because I know that your path and plan is infinitely perfect and excellent.  I thank you today, as I don’t know the future, but you do.  I thank you because your wisdom and knowledge will always shine in the end.  I thank you that in the darkest of nights, I know that day is coming.  A day brighter than any other because of the Sonlight.  And even if I don’t have answers here, everything WILL be revealed, on that day.  Today I praise you and thank you Jesus!